Shrek 3 is one of the worst movies ever made. It’s so bad I’m pretty sure it soured someone’s life forever. I was 9 when I was just watching Shrek 2 for the 102nd time, laughing at all the jokes whilst also appreciating the amazing writing and cast. Then, out of nowhere, Shrek 3 just broke through the walls and ran to my parents bedroom. Shrek 3 stole my parents from me. I can still remember watching my parent’s horrified faces as Shrek 3 carried them away with its DVD box-type hands. It shook me.
Years later, I married a nice woman and had 3 beautiful children with her. I had a well paying job with a really nice boss. Things were finally looking up for me. But then Shrek 3 appeared outta nowhere. It stole and ate my children right in front of me. I could see my parents’ bones right through that DVD hole. And then my wife divorced me and my boss fired me, because they didn’t wanna associate with me in case they also get attacked by Shrek 3.
I then lived in a box with nothing much more apart from my phone (with access to WiFi, luckily) and a copy of Shrek 2, in case Shrek 3 comes back again. Shrek 3 ruined my childhood, my marriage, my job. Shrek 3 ruined my life.
But then my copy of Shrek 2 came to life and gave me a shitload of money, meaning I could start my own business. I then got some advice on how to start my own business with zero problems from Shrek 1 and I got advice on how to extend its longevity from Shrek 4. Thanks to all the GOOD Shrek movies, I now am a multibillionaire with a loving wife and 2 beautiful children (who are exceptionally smart btw) and I now own Amazon. I then carried out a very successful assassination on Shrek 3, meaning the evil has finally died. Thanks to Shrek 1,2, and 4, I became Jeff Bezos.
Overall Shrek 3 isn’t shrecksy enough and has the least hottest Shrek so 0/10